Caring is in our DNA

Dear CPAP,

I know that in the beginning, we had a love-hate relationship as I got used to you and dealt with having this extra attachment on my body during a time when all I want is to be free to move and stretch. The beginning was rough as I had to learn a new way to manipulate both my body and mind to adjust to having you by my side and seeing you as something positive. I knew it would be tough so I was happy that I had the strength to keep consistently using you as an aide instead of treating you as a hindrance.

Now that we have gotten over the hard parts, I no longer view you as something extra, something in the way, something that is keeping me from being relaxed. You are now, to me, a positive aspect when it comes to my nighttime routine. I did though get to a point where I enjoyed you so much that if I had to stay somewhere and I didn't have you with me, I would feel a great deal of anxiety. I knew then, I had to wake up and find ways to handle my sleep schedule with you or without you.

I feel now that I have gotten over two hurdles where I first thought of you in a negative light and then saw you as my savior when it came to sleep. I have been able to manage my thought process and balance my schedule so that if I was caught off guard and did not have you, I would be able to utilize other management strategies that I have learned to adjust and make it through the night. That is not to say I do not need you. You have given me the realization of what restful sleep can be like and what things it can do for me physically and mentally. My whole day is different when I am able to use you properly and wake knowing that I was not only getting rest but breathing better which was something I was worried I may never do.

Dear CPAP,

In the beginning, I wasn’t convinced that you were going to help. I hated dealing with insurance, and I felt like I was sleeping fine, so why was all this even necessary? Even looking at you now, I want to believe I can sleep without you, but the truth is, I don’t want to.

The first few months were rough. Half of the time, I’d wake up in the middle of the night, and my mask was nowhere to be found. I don’t even want to think about the parade of masks I worked my way through, desperately trying to find one that didn’t blast air in my eyes or leak every time I even thought about changing positions.

I’m glad to say, though, that bit by bit, I figured out what worked and what didn’t. I started feeling better, more capable, and more confident, too. Thanks to you, I rediscovered my love for fitness, and working out went from being a chore to something I actively looked forward to again.

Sure, it’s not always amazing, and I’m still learning, but where I am now is far, far better than where I was when we met. Words can’t describe how grateful I am to both you and myself for sticking with it.

Thank you, CPAP, for improving my life in ways I never thought possible and helping me reclaim my energy, my relationships, and my confidence in myself. While I certainly wish that I could sleep without you and get the same results, I’m excited to see where this path leads, and can’t wait to see what else is in store.